Was it all a dream?

13 10 2008

Kudos to Charlie Brooker’s latest post on the economy’s freefall, particularly the part about “it was a house, not a magic coin-shitting machine”.

I had my suspicions about that.


What’s wrong with this blog

16 07 2007

One of the side effects of all this humid weather is that I seem on occasion to be completely unable to sleep. The plus side is that having this time awake but staring at the ceiling means that in the gaps between stressing that I really should be getting to sleep because I need to get up early for work and not piss away half my day barely awake, my mind seems to have occasional creative bursts. And so I find myself blogging on here…

Something of an achievement that it seems. I started this blog about seven or eight months ago with really good intentions. Back in my university days and for brief times afterwards I kept a diary and, while most of what went into it was navel-gazing nonsense, if nothing else I was prolific. I think it was with that spirit of expression that I had the idea to start writing this, plus the romantic notion that regularly updating it with what I am up to would cover for my shocking inability to keep in touch with friends and family in the last few years.

And then of course, there’s the fact that what goes on here is, by design, for the world to see. In the last few years, since I’ve been with Helen probably, I’ve become conscious more and more about how much we all (and me probably more than many) keep private; not deep dark secrets, past emotional gremlins and bank details kind of stuff, but more mundane day to day things. One of the interesting lessons I think I’ve picked up from being in a long-term relationship is how much I had grown over the years to keep things to myself under the false flag of self-reliance. Getting to a point where it’s natural and instinctive to be open about things was quite an effort. Helen of course might well argue that I have some way to go.

Anyway, it sort of led me to the thought of what would our lives be like if we did the opposite. What would our lives be like if we made a conscious effort to articulate who we are, what we are thinking and let our whole lives, our plans, our friendships, our hopes and fears, all of it, out into the world? What would happen? It’s a romantic notion I think and fraught with some serious obstacles; there are things that we legitimately keep secret for good reason. But still, that idea has fascinated me and was certainly in the back of my mind when I started this.

In the last few days I’ve been reading Authentic: How to Make a Living by being Yourself by Neil Crofts, a book that I semi-discovered a couple of years ago and have returned to, which has some interesting things to say about some of these thoughts and how the pressures of conformity that are instilled into us from an early age make us naturally disguise who we are, what we want and what we believe and offers a process for moving away from that and learning to express ourselves. At the same time, I’ve recently attended a conference in London for work where I had a number of discussions that talked about the whole social networking phenomenon and led me to ponder the psychology behind and the effects of things like Facebook. Since I started using Facebook I have grown accustomed to daily, even hourly updates about friends that I haven’t seen for several years, I’ve got used to the idea that when people move away and leave your day to day life, that while they log in every day they never really leave, and I’ve slowly got into the idea of putting more and more of myself online for the world to see. I am fascinated by the question of what social interaction will be like for a generation younger than ourselves, young people who are just starting to enter the world just as Facebook and MySpace become ubiquitous, even if I don’t feel qualified to give an answer.

Anyway, to return to the question that the title of this blog posed, basically, for all my lofty ideals, I simply don’t have the stones for it. I could post more about what’s going on in my life but even as I type the feeling of self-consciousness is bearing down. If this blog were anonymous it would probably make for a much more interesting read, but instead it’s amusing snippets from the web mixed with political rants and rarely, insomnia-fuelled whimsies such as this one. And let’s face it, even this post is asking many more questions than it’s attempting to answer. Sorry about that.

Thanks for reading though.

Creepy Photoshop Mistake

19 06 2007

After spending most of this afternoon skilfully removing people from photos at work and slowly going strange in the process, it was quite refreshing to see someone else’s cock-up get famous online.


Anyway, I’m well aware I’m doing a piss poor job on this blog at the moment. I will remedy this soon.

The sound of silence…

30 04 2007

Well I’m just getting ready to go off on holiday for a week to Centerparcs, which is shamefully middle class of me but there you go. Anyway, the main thing is that I shall be away from broadband internet for the whole time, which as well as reducing me to a quivering wreck, will also mean I won’t be posting on here any time soon.

Might prepare some nice posts for when I’m connected again though. Or I might just switch off the laptop and go out and do something less boring instead, “Why don’t you” style.

Anyway, there’s a great Charlie Brooker article in The Guardian this morning which sums up my views on fashion quite nicely, so I shall leave you with that.


43 things

22 04 2007

Just a quick note to shout about a new site I have come across called “43 things”. From what I can tell the basic idea is that you start shouting about all the things, big and small, that you actually want to do with your life and it will both keep reminding you of them by email and help you along the way with them.

Anyway, I signed up to it and started thinking of things I want to do, a quite cathartic exercise in itself.

So far, and far from finished by the way, here is my (edited) list.

  1. Learn XHTML.
  2. Learn to fly a plane.
  3. Be more confident.
  4. Get an HDTV.
  5. Get in better shape.
  6. Drink more water.
  7. Get out of debt.
  8. Relax and not be so uptight.
  9. Put a design portfolio together.
  10. Shave my head.
  11. Learn to play backgammon.
  12. Earn more money.
  13. Learn photography. Properly.
  14. Blog more.
  15. Go to Glastonbury.
  16. Figure out what to do with my life.
  17. Be cool.
  18. Write for a magazine.
  19. Buy an Apple TV.

This is of course, just what I’ve come up with after about 20 minutes of play. With more time I am sure the list will be even more hilarious.

Anyway, I recommend the site. And I recommend inviting ridicule upon yourself by publishing your list on your blog. It was pretty therapeutic for me.

My Toasted Sandwich Maker mind

21 04 2007

Chatting with Helen this morning, I came to the decision that so much of the things I do seem to last for a few days and then I get distracted and lose good habits. This is something that seems to apply to all areas of my life; good habits with work, home life, health, finance, this blog, everything. I think that so much of my modern existence seems to be managing decent routines and failing. On a good day, I seem to be leading an exemplary life; I create to-do lists at work and power through them, I get my 5-a-day of fruit and 2 litres of water, I get to the gym, keep within a budget, fitter happier more productive, you know the drill.

The wierd thing is that it isn’t necessarily that bad habits tend to get in the way per se, but it’s more that I just tend to lose track and these things just don’t happen mainly because my mind goes ‘elsewhere’. And so I don’t know what the answer to this bad behaviour is really. I just need to get a bit more organised and less distracted.

Anyway, the reason for this hideously navel-gazing self-fest is that that same problem could quite easily apply to this blog. My new year’s resolution of regularly writing up and keeping this blog alive seems to have good phases and bad phases and I need to break that cycle.

On the other hand, if you’re ever reading this blog and it hasn’t been updated for a while, you can, if nothing else, be reasonably assured that I’m probably not properly hydrated either. Oh well.

If the post title seems a little obscure, it’s a reference to “Spaced”. Which, if you haven’t seen it, you need to do.

“This will be my plea”

18 04 2007

Thought it was worth a quick thank you to my Texan friend Leigh for telling me to get my shit together following my rather crappy Facebook Blues post from the other day.

The least I can do in return is give a shout to her new blog “This will be my plea” which I found thoroughly entertaining at six o’ clock this morning.

It’s worth it just for the “what makes your poop slide out” quote alone.